Thursday, July 12, 2012

Romney: It worked! Break out the watermelon!

 Watching Mitt Romney speak to/at/over the NAACP audience in his typically kinetic way,   I must tell you that I was distracted by wondering what he was quietly thinking about.

Borrowing loosely from Camelot, was his brain humming, "I wonder what my Swiss are doing tonight'?

Naw. His people are in touch 24 hours a day to tell him what his Swiss are doing, down to the last million or two.

Was he thinking about how he might disguise Seamus, his Irish setter,  the next time he straps it to the roof of his car to keep the Humane Society and Gail Collins from whining about it?

Naw.  He won't be driving to Canada or wherever  until after the election anyway.

Was he thinking about saying how much he loved African-Americans because they are the right height, particularly the ones in the NBA, where a couple of team owners are his good  friends?

Naw.  There probably weren't any 6-foot-10 ladies in the audience to appreciate the loving reference.

Was he thinking about how he was wasting his time speaking to a group in which 25 pct. might  be denied voting by ID laws or were on food stamps?

Naw.  They had sat courteously throughout his remarks so there was no reason to make the natives restless at this point.

But he did want to make a point about his muscular  opposition That would prove his courage  to the Tea Partiers and white racists who think he is a wus.

 He could only hope that his plan to be loudly booed  would work while he stood defiantly before the  mob with a tight-lipped smile like Leonidas at Thermopylae.

It worked flawlessly! (In a tightly- guarded room off the hall, his campaign staff was so joyous that it broke out the prize watermelon.) Mitt could even claim on Fox News that 'black leaders' told him privately afterward that they supported him.  These were the surrogates his campaign flew in to the Houston conference to declare their fealty to the Republican contender.

Epilogue:   The heady   businessman who constantly reminds us of his unique ability to do things then confidently flew off to Hamilton, Montana,  near the Selway Bitterroot Wilderness,  for a fund-raiser to boast about his own mission accomplished. He told the friendly  group that if some handout-minded folks "want more stuff from the government, tell them to vote for the other guy."

That was a another campaign moment when he wasn't thinking at all.


Gale Cady Williams said...

right on

JLM said...

I don't think any politician on the entire spectrum is whiter than Willard.