After reading about Mitt Romney's unreported tax-free millions that he has stashed in Swiss banks and the Cayman Islands, we were so inspired by his clever accounting that we decided to do a little investing, too. We called the International Hide-and-Seek Bank in the Caymans to learn more about their appealing deposit plans.
When a polished voice came to the phone, I explained my mission:
"I would like to deposit some tax-free money in your bank."
"Yes, sir. That's why we're here. No one will ever know because we deal in the strictest confidence. "
"Right. That's what I've been told."
"How much would you wish to deposit?"
"I would wish to begin with $24.63.
(Pause.)
"I'm sorry, I didn't get that. Was that millions or billions?"
"No, sir. $24.63. That's all I can afford."
"Surely, sir, you are kidding."
"I think not. I grew up in a fiscally conservative Middle Eastern family, tight-fisted as hell, and if there was one thing my father never kidded about, it was money."
'I see. But what's the point of depositing so little with us when your tax savings - let me figure this out - would be less than a penny?"
"You must understand, my friend, that a penny hidden is a penny earned."
"I'm sorry, sir, I don't think we can hide any of your money so if you'll simply ---"
"OK, I can round it off to an even $25 and ---."
Click.
Moral: If you can't match Mitt Romney's hidden treasure, it's best not to flaunt your own $24.63.
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