Romney joins Dems: Economy is getting better!

IF SOME REPUBLICANS worry about McMitt Romney's unedited campaign-speak when he isn't constrained by a debate, here's another example of the sort of stuff that has Democratic strategists reaching for their notebooks for future use:

Appearing on a Fox News interview with Laura Ingraham on a huge issue that Romney and others have used against President Obama, he opined that the economy is improving! Startled that a Republican presidential candidate would go so positive, Ingraham asked him if that's what he meant to say. Replied McMitt: "Of course, the economy is getting better."

Maybe he should stick to his talk about "self-deportation" and leave the economy to his script writers.

Plain Dealer: Punting out of trouble

FOR ANYONE wondering why the Plain Dealer's veteran Cleveland Browns writer, Tony Grossi, was yanked from the beat forevermore, Thom Fladung, the paper's managing editor, offered his explanation on a Cleveland radio show. Grossi, he said, had declared on Twitter that Browns owner Randy Lerner was a "pathetic figure" and the "most irrelevant billionaire in the world."

Grossi's remarks were intended to be private but they weren't shielded, to his later dismay. If he had used the same language describing Mitt Romney, give or take several million, he would have been spared his demotion. But pro football is very big business and despite the paper's denial that the Browns front office had called for the writer's put-down, surely Lerner had a lot to say about it through one channel or another.

It the Browns were at least competitive over the past decade or so, the editors might have been excused for telling Grossi to go to his room. Does anybody want to defend the owner's relevancy?

Oh, Fladung did concede that Grossi was indeed a "very good beat writer" but that his next assignment at the paper still hasn't been determined.

Fair warning to Grossi's successor.

Author Brewer: Photo-opping the president

OUR POLITICAL grandstanding award this week must go unchallenged to Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer, who confronted President Obama as he deplaned in Phoenix. Within moments she was seen in profile pointing her finger at him in what appeared to be a severely aggressive mood until he turned away in the Republican governor's mid-sentence.

Oh, she has written a book titled Scorpions for Breakfast in which she was less than kind to Obama's immigration policy. So you could say it was a photo-op for her and it worked. Book sales reportedly shot up by 150,000 as the story made the rounds.

In an intellectual showdown between Obama and Brewer I'd be quick to bet on the President. But that's immaterial. Instead, rarely would you see such disrespect to an American president, whether it is Obama or any of his predecessors. Obviously such courtesy to the office has yet to reach the Arizona precincts.

Brewer did say that she found Obama threatening and "thin-skinned". OK, that might be a little less denigrating than, say, mentioning the color of his skin.

Callista: The first among equals?

FROM FIRST WIFE NANCY comes a presidential protocol question that I can't answer. She asks:

If Newt Gingrich is elected president, would Callista have the title of "First Lady"?

My view: The only way to resolve that touchy issue is to keep him out of the White House.

Jesus is coming to Summit County Lincoln Day dinner?

THE SUMMIT COUNTY Republican Party's steady drift to the party's wackiest right wing will be reinforced at its Lincoln Day Dinner on Feb. 18. It will be at that moment that Chairman Alex Arshinkoff will honor the presence of Rick Santorum as the $50 a plate dinner speaker. The former Pennsylvania senator, who was defeated by 18 points in 2006, is running for president at the moment and may or may not still be a candidate by dinnertime.

Debbie Walsh, the party's executive director, said she couldn't predict whether Santorum, who has strong theocratic tendencies, will still be in the race, "but we're optimistic."

Theocratic? Santorum referred to himself as Jesus recently in explaining why he is in the race. And you thought I was trying to be cute about this! I can't make this up.

Santorum has said a lot of other things that the county's Republicans will doubtless hear about after dinner. He is fully against contraceptives; opposes abortion , even for rape victims; describes the fight against Islam as "onward Christian soldiers" ; expresses doubts about whether Mormons are Christians; opposes welfare programs that "make people's lives better;" and - you do have to wonder abut this guy - questions the need for food stamps when so many people who get them are already fat.

Had enough? So have I. But so there should be no question about my slant on the Lincoln Day dinner (Lincoln has nothing to do with it, folks ), it's not for me to tell Arshinkoff whom to invite to the event. It's his party, lock, stock and whatever, and he can invite Pope Benedict if it helps him sell more tickets.

I'm merely recording another chapter in the once moderate county party led by the late Ray Bliss. Trending? Recent speakers have been Rep. Jim Jordan of Ohio, one of the speakers at Monday's March for Life, and Mike Huckabee, a former preacher and sworn enemy of Biblical impurity.

Yeah. I think theocratic is right.

What the hell is self-deportation?

THERE ARE SAID to be 600,000 words in the English language. Today, there are 600,001, with Mitt Romney's addition of "self-deportation." That's how he chose to solve the problem of illegal immigrants. They must deport themselves.

Well, anything goes in politics, I guess, but I'm not sure how self-deporting works, or even can work. Totally unexplored ground in immigration policy until last night. Does deportation have some legal force behind it that can't be assumed by any individual who simply wants to go home? For the time being, I prefer the frustration of a person who commented on a national blog: Will Mitt next propose that we have self-detention centers?

Meanwhile, rising once again from the shambles of the presidential contenders, Newt Gingrich insists he will no longer debate if the audience can't participate. (It was asked to remain courteously quiet before Monday's debate.) Translation: He wants his very own cheering section for his golden utterances from the stage. How daring of him!

The voice of a homeless Republican

A RECENT ISSUE of The Chronicle Review of Higher Education has a poignant glimpse of a shattered life on the homeless front. It was written in 2007 by a 53-year-old Houston man, Brian Lohse, and first appeared in a book Hard Ground by Michael O'Brien and Tom Waits. It says so much about today's human and political landscape that it demands a broader audience.

So here are the words of Brian Lohse:

"I'm formerly a Republican. Back in 1996 in Houston, Texas, I was sleeping in the field looking at the high-rise apartment that I used to live in. I couldn't believe that a few years earlier I had a nice apartment, I was driving a new car, I had an American Express card, a line of credit at the bank. I ate at nice restaurants and wore designer clothes. But now I was sleeping in the fields, eating at soup kitchens, getting clothes with vouchers, and riding the Metro. It did not make sense to me.

"But my problem wasn't logical, it was spiritual. I didn't think there was any such thing as a homeless Republican, but the Lord will get your attention one way or another."

A spectator's Horoscope for tonight's debate

AS A SPECIAL benefit to keep you well prepared for tonight's Republican debate, we offer, in part, the actual forecast from today's Jacqueline Bigar Horoscope:

Mitt Romney, Mar. 12, 1947, Pisces: Zero in on a problem by observing instead of asking questions. You could be surprised by what you find out. Also, note what is not being said. Your sunny manner can help take the edge off for now...

Rick Santorum, May 10, 1958, Taurus: All the possibilities that surround a project might overwhelm you. A new beginning becomes possible professionally, if you worry a little less. Keep smiling. Your insights are appreciated...

Newt Gingrich, June 17, 1943, Gemini: Reach out for someone at a distance. Your ability to zero in on an issue might not be as sharp as you would like. You could find that a relationship becomes far more touchy in the next few weeks...

Ron Paul, Aug. 20, 1935, Leo: Use caution with finances in the next few months. You easily could make an an error. Others seek you out, but they also want to have more control.. Let them have their way, and they will better understand the complexity of your responsibilities.

Sorry, Walter, but they're closing Rex's

A necessary report to my dear friend, the late Walter Mirapaul:

I'm sorry to have to tell you the awful news, Walter, that they're closing your old hunting grounds. Yep. Rex's Salvage will be history by mid-March. That's the word from Rex's owner, Recovery Management Corporation. What a loss! I know you would agree.

But RMC says it had no choice. You know, the economy. And something about the new ways of the trucking industry, of which I know little.

As a careful student of the wares that were available at Rex's, you might not be surprised by the news. In the past several months, you said more than once that the inventory was slipping. In your words, "It isn't as good as it used to be." (I assumed that was the reason that you drove me to Big Lots to buy a desk lamp.)

So we must be satisfied with the memories of the shopping visits over the years that could kill a couple of hours as you rooted through every bin at Rex's for truffles while insisting that a sport jacket at $10 was a fraction of its value. Or that the shampoo was a steal. Only someone who had memorized thousands of prices in stores around town could identify a steal from a mere bargain.

So I will cherish all the more the items that I bought for no particular reason when I tagged along to Rex's with you to honor your skills as a comparison shopper: Clocks, picture frames, DVD's, paper clips, the lonely bric-a-brac of truck salvage.

By the way, remember when I had cautioned you against buying an oriental rug at Rex's when you called my office. "How big is it," I asked. "BIG!" you said.

"What is its condition?" "It's rolled up. I can't tell."

I told you it would be wise to look at the whole rug before buying it.

You did, and I do remember what you said when you called back. "It had a hole in it. No deal."

But you did have a closet filled with the deals that ended up as multiple gifts at your annual Christmas Party. For that, we were all thankful. Particularly to Louise, who gave up so much of her time wrapping dozens of your hand-picked presents. Those were the days.

P.S. Another update: They never did reopen the Blue Fig restaurant where the gang met as your guests for your regular Saturday breakfasts. I noticed that it has been converted into a martial arts operation. So hard to imagine, I know. Does anything ever stay the same?

Take care....Abe

Newt serves his own enchanted island

DURING THE COUNTDOWN OF the South Carolina Republican primary Saturday, we spent the entire afternoon at the Regal Theater in Montrose fully charmed by The Enchanted Island, transmitted live from the Met. The new opera is a fantasy that deftly combines the music of great Baroque composers - say, Vivaldi and Handel - with Shakespearean plot elements. It could have been a hi-tech mishmash of wafting mermaids and monstrously masked choristers intersecting the action of magical characters. Instead, it was a seamless aural and visual production with superlative voices that overcame any notion of cheap theatrical pageantry. What a day for this escapist!

With the island fantasy in mind, we checked into the Carolina vote at 7 to learn that, as forecast, Newt Gingrich, the slick-talking rabble-rouser, had carried the day without glorious asssistance from Vivaldi and Handel. We can hope that this, too, is a fantasy. No other presidential candidate from either party since the days of George Wallace is more of a threat to reasonably civilized political discourse. In fact, Gingrich is much better at his cleverly conceived game than the in-your-face racism of Wallace.

Gingrich, arrogantly - actually, snobbishly - lectures us with his prescription for a return to America's greatness reinforced by deep religious conviction - unlike secular Europe - with stops along the way to weave food stamps and unemployed ghetto kids into his dark libretto. Some of this may be shaped by his Deep South (Georgia) background. And it is effective with certain audiences. Two-thirds of the Republicans who went to the polls were Tea Partiers; 60 pct, born-again - and, my own figures, 100 pct. Obama-haters.

That raises a question: To those purists who cheer when Gingrich complains of an anti-religious bias in America, how can they apply their own Christian values to his tattered past? The man was forced out of the House of Representatives and paid a $300,0o0 fine for ethics violations; his exploits with wives are well-known, including the latest revelation by his second wife that he had asked for an open marriage. As an anti-governnment model, how can he justify raking in $1.6 million from Freddie Mac, a major government-insured culprit in the mortgage meltdown? And how could this hypocrite rise in the House to call for President Clinton's impeachment when he was engaged in his own cuddly affair?

The rap sheet is sordid. OK. It ain't a crime for a candidate to sound deranged at times.

Republicans, you have a problem.