Friday, May 28, 2010

Connecticut GOP strikes out on $ingle pitch

MAY WE TAKE a moment to thank NY Times columnist Gail Collins for keeping us up to date on the latest bizarre Republican meltdown in preparing America for a secure and prosperous future in Jurassic Park. This time, the scene of the crime was Connecticut's GOP Senate primary. As Collins tells us, the state party had two choices in selecting a candidate to endorse.
One was Rob Simmons, a "well regarded former congressman who is a decorated Vietnam war veteran." The other? Linda McMahon, who made a fortune in promoting wrestling, some of it muddy, "building up an entertainment business that specialized in blood, seminaked women and scripted subplots featuring rape, adultery and familial violence. In which the candidate, her husband and children played themselves. Also, the family is named Sexy Bitch."

Faced with the choice between a war hero and a wrestling freak show operator with $50 million to spend on the campaign, the GOP had little choice but to endorse McMahon. (How did you guess?)

Should we even mention that in this raffish display of entrepreneurial ventures there were even instances of wrestlers' (?) heads being slashed with razor blades, an excessive outburst of anti-social and unsanitary behavior in which one wrestler is said to have come down with hepatitis from his wounds in the ring.

Given the current political culture of the party, I wouldn't be surprised if Sarah Palin is invited to the ring up there to wrestle a moose. Being a woman of religious fervor, she would be fully clothed, of course.


PJJinOregon said...

I've believed for ages that Rushbo is a sumo wrestler at heart. And now, under his leadership, other and more wrestlers begin to show up on GOP electoral tickets. I can hardly wait for a Tea Party smack-down. Smack-down tickets sold on eBay will bolster Meg's campaign. I just love it when a plan comes together.

Grumpy Abe said...

Maybe it's the wave of the future. My hometown newspaper inexplicably devoted nearly all of its front page and all of the back page of its A-section to cage wrestling on Saturday! Pseudojournalism is too kind a word.