Spinning and apologies along the GOP trail...

NOTES FROM THE UNDERGROUND:

Have you noticed how often certain politicians apologize for mindless things they said or did yesterday or during the past millennium? Or at least, in Rick Santorum's case, insisting that his words were misunderstood or taken out of context? You can claim that with ease if you blame it all on the media, without which, no more than a few would be able to identify you in San Francisco, London or Vatican City. Besides, did you really not intend to suggest that President Obama was Hitler? Insofar as the media are concerned, I happened to watch the Arizona debate on the TV medium of CNN, where you have been known to share your remarks. Let's let your references to Obama and Satan pass until you have had enough time to say you were misunderstood.

Although Santorum is said to have gained traction with the Tea Party for being authentic - he pounded his chest yesterday, a popular mournful gesture in the Middle East - I would still vote for McNewt Gingrich's unwavering grasp of campaign slander by accusing Obama of infanticide. Gingrich never apologizes about anything, responding to each question with "First of all...", an undeniable attribute of his organized madness.

In McMitt's case, he is much easier to follow. He is quite clear about his deep love of cars and the right height of trees in Michigan. He also sings, not on pitch, I'm afraid, "America the Beautiful." In those moments I want him to go back to loving trees and cars, where his insights on nature and industry attempt to be authentic.

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Speaking of apologies, Ohio House Speaker Bill Batchelder has now partly apologized for telling a Lincoln Day dinner audience in Akron that Obama ought to be sent to prison for "25 years to life." But his response to questions about his civility actually made a joke of the joke that critics found repugnant. The Columbus Dispatch quoted him as saying he wouldn't apologize for the alleged quip but he would do so to a legislative colleague, Akron Democrat Vernon Sykes. Sykes had demanded an apology for the Speaker's "distasteful remarks." Rep. Bob Hagan, Youngstown Democrat, went further, calling Batchelder an "ass". Wanna bet $10,000 that Hagan has no intention of apologizing? As for me, I am still wondering about Gov. Kasich's graphic description of his wife as "hot". You can only go so far in the vernacular, Guv, particularly when your public approval rating is wondering around in the 30s.

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Finally, everyone knows that annual state- of-the-whatevers are always positive about the incumbant who is giving them. So we shouldn't be too critical of Cuyahoga Falls Mayor Don Robart's annual self-congratulatory state of the city address, which boasted of bountiful progress by his administration. But we will certainly quibble with his vision of his fiscal stewardship while the federal government is running up "massive deficits." So it was good to see that Beacon Journal reporter Paula Schlels, who covered the speech, also reported that the Falls "is stretching its dollars with the help of state and federal grants." Funny how Republican leaders who sock the Feds never remember to say thanks for the grants that are part of those "massive deficits".