Back in my Columbus days, I discovered it was best not to hang out in the Ohio legislature on those days when I showed up without my Tums. It was asking too much of my digestive system to listen to a backwater lawmaker explain the meaning of his dreadful bill that he had yet to read. Although legislatures have produced some folks who went on to greater deeds, it's also true that you never know what you're getting when you encounter a hominid who insults himself by forever calling attention to his mindless brief moment on earth.
Still, for pure moronic outlook, none of the low-enders from the 19060s-70s General Assembly could compete with the strange collection of state lawmakers who earn a living today by saying a lot of things that make no sense. We've already mentioned Ohio House Majority Leader Bill Batchelder's defense of pay raises for the representatives by telling us that they deserve more money because they "work hard". Or Akron Rep. Lynn Slaby (R) excitedly looking forward to his new position on the Public Utilities
Commission of Ohio shortly after winning an uncontested Republican primary for reelection. How could that be? He said he didn't find the legislative seat a good fit for what he wanted to do, at age 73, with the rest of his life. (As candidate Slaby, his home page said things like "we need his wisdom and leadership in the legislature more than ever...")
Sorry, we'll have to muddle along without him.
None of this however, matches the right-wing noise occurring in other legislatures acorss America. There was Indiana State Rep. Bob Morris (R), who unsuccessfully tried to enter a resolution against celebrating the Girl Scouts' centennial celebration because the group is being subverted by Planned Parenthood's agenda to "sexualize young girls."
And how about South Carolina State Sen. Jake Knotts' (R) calling President Obama and South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley "ragheads"?
But our clear winner` so far is Missouri State Rep. Dwight Scharnhorst, (R), co-sponsor of the "Don't say gay bIll' in the legislature to ban any mention of homosexuals in public schools. How can you top his whirling logic that tells us, "There is no need to talk about Billy wanting to marry a goat."
For that one, I will even give him the Grumpy Abe Linguistic Lunacy (GALL) award. It was easy.