Monday, December 12, 2011

Another GOP debate: O holy night

HOW GOOD OF THE Republican presidentials to visit us with one more Festival of Lights the other night. As these men and woman of good cheer - they even forced smiles while under assault - laid out their vision of a prosperous Obama-less future in the Oval Office, we were comforted by their compassion for what is left of, um, the American Dream. They were the seven swans a-swimming in pledges to rid us of the evils du jour.

I took a few notes to remind myself that America's oppressed as well as the one percenters will be in good hands after election day. (Have yourself a merry little Christmas...)

Some vignettes that gleamed like tinsel in this seasonally-adjusted stage production:

Newt, who obviously had some problems with marital skills, stepped up forthrightly and confessed that he had made mistakes, but they didn't include the $1.6 million he was paid by Freddie Mac to be an historian and NOT a lobbyist.

Michelle pledged to rid us of the Environmental Protection Agency and reassured us glowingly that she is well suited to be a businesslike president, having worked in the private sector in 50 of her 55 years on earth. I had hoped she would explain those missing five years, but she ran out of time. She did say that she was "unashamed and unapologetic" to declare her fealty to America. (O come, all ye faithful)

Not to be challenged, Mitt offered to bet Rick (Perry) a gentlemanly $10,000 that Perry was wrong about something he said about Mitt, who also said he loved America. In a rare moment of sanity, Rick turned him down. But it did make one wonder about how many people in TVland could have laid up that kind of risk capital on the spur of the moment. ( Jingle $$$ Bells)

Michele persisted in referring to Newt and Mitt as Newt Romney, which didn't have much to do with familial ties. Her cute point was simply that you can't separate their fabricated ideas. On the other hand, when Mitt said he was above the field because he wasn't a career politician, Newt turned up the best line of the evening by countering that the only reason Mitt wasn't a career politician was because he lost a Senate race to Ted Kennedy in 1994. Newt has an exceptional sense of history, don't you think?

Newt defended his recent scourge of "stupid" child labor laws and saw no reason why he should recant his Toynbee grasp of history by accusing Palestinians of being "invented." Mitt wanted everyone to know that Netanyahu was "my friend B.B". In a pandering appeal for Jewish support, several of the contestants insisted that all of the trouble in the Middle East was caused by...Obama. All of that would change when...

In various degrees of scorn, there was little disagreement over the invasion of illegal immigrants although Newt did hold some hope for those who have been in the U.S. 25 years. (Feliz Navidad)

Ron (paul) , the Texas libertarian. continued his assault on U.S. engagement in foreign wars, which was largely ignored by the others. And Rick (Santorum), the Pennsylvanian who lost his bid for reelection in 2006 by 18 points, insisted that he was the GOP's best choice at the top of the ticket because the party needed the Keystone State to win. (Joy to the World)

It was finally time for everybody to go and the stage darkened in peace. Mercifully, Silent Night.


PJJinOregon said...

Santorun must be running for the VP spot. He's certainly not running for anything else.

.....and here we didn't think that Lieberman had a legacy.

David Hess said...

I actually started to hum a seasonal favorite: "O' Come All Ye Jingoes..."