The Republican presidential debate was hustled by the national media as an event that would clearly define some of the candidates for the long trail ahead.
Would, for example, Jeb Bush finally launch his campaign on the CNBC stage? (We did find out about his fantasy football passion.)
Would Donald Trump, the comic relief, level Ben Carson once and for all?
Would Carson tell us what the hell his tax plan of tithing is really all about?
Closer to home, would John Kasich stop being Mr. Nice Guy (a loosely defined notion for a guy with a history of brutishness) and hype his new image with a terrorizing assault on the other nine?
Alas, the answer was none of the above.
Instead the group turned out to be a bunch of Republican spare parts, full of figures and worn statements that made life meaningful for fact-checkers.
About Kasich, who is still bottom feeding in the national polls: He continued to jitterbug behind his podium while raising his hand for attention like a school kid who wanted to go to the bathroom. New York Magazine described his performance as that of a "fidgety neurotic". And an MSNBC analyst said our governor simply disappeared. In house-hunting terms, no matter how hard he tries, Kasich doesn't have curb appeal.
The pundits raced to determine who won the debate, I can save them a lot of time with one word: NOBODY.
Still, in watching the 10 little stray Indians, I guess I would have to share the fears of other witnesses that we might be viewing someone on the stage who could be president someday.