We're not imaginative enough to predict how University of Akron President Scott Scarborough will try to spin gold in his State of the University address on Tuesday in E..J. Thomas Hall.
Maybe he will tell his sour campus community that all change is mighty difficult, particularly when you must hire so many outstanding executives at salaries befitting their responsibilities while at the same time promising to cut expenses.
But keep in mind that he set out more than a year ago telling us the same thing about the difficulty of desperately needed change to shrink multimillion dollar debt.
Or he might explain his New Age theory of why the school needs a polytechnic rebranding in reaching out to prospective students in Dubuque who had anticipated studying Shakespeare and Faulkner and were being recruited by Harvard.
Or he might report that the campus appears to be a tad tidier since he demanded that professors pick up trash if they are to be respected.
Or he might defend the creation of a cadet corps as symbols of fastidious behavior even though it might encroach on the campus ROTC mission.
Or he might insist that a living and breathing Board of Trustees actually exists, a notion that would be a stretch greater than the alleged trustees' necks in nodding their approval of his every whim.
The dissenters like the AAUP and other groups will be there to protest Team Scarborough's bizarre academic stagecraft. His power base is taking some serious hits on the campus and around town. But will they be enough?