Sex & hypocrisy, South Carolina style

YOU WOULD think that by now, South Carolina would postpone any efforts to become a theocratic state and simply dedicate itself to keeping the sunny strip at Myrtle Beach well-sanded for the northern tourists. It would help the economy of a state that is shaking its piggy banks these days and spare its leading politicians and other public officials of having to explain how they were drawn through the dark valley of sex.

We all know about the state's top executive, Gov. Mark Sanford, a devout Christian conservative who is now being forced to cry about his witless exchange of the Appalachian Trail for Argentina. (As my family used to scold me when they heard I was dating a young Irish woman (read: American girl). They reminded me that the daughter of a Lebanese car dealer in a nearby town was perfectly qualified for the altar, advising without consent: "There are lots of our kind right here you could marry instead." ) So much for Argentina.

Now we learn that Kristin Maguire, the chair of the South Carolina State Board of Education, resigned after she was outed as the source of a pornographic internet blog, authoring under the pseudonym of "Bridget Keeney." The same Kristin Maguire had been lobbying long and hard for Christian virtues that included abstinence-only sex education, the banning of teaching evolution and other ideas that fit her profile as a soldier of the religious right.

Don't' go away. There's more. Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer, who has called for Sanford's resignation, is being touted in news stories as a closet gay, which he denies, of course, because, if true it would put a big dent in his political ambition in South Carolina. It is, after all, the home of Bob Jones University.

To make life more miserable for him, a lesbian politician down there named Linda Ketner has challenged Bauer to step out of the closet, adding:

"We have more gay people serving in South Carolina than probably in any place in the United States."

She didn't hesitate to add Sen. Lindsey Graham to the list. And who can forget John Edwards' escapades, except that he didn't spend a helluva lot of time warning his constituents about sexual transgressions. He apparently just set out to have some adulterous fun.

I'll stop right there. It is another chapter in the hypocrisy of right-wing politicians who swear their allegiance to family values and other good stuff. If this keeps up, the time may come when Ft. Sumter will have to fire on South Carolina.