Sunday, September 20, 2009

Road map to Teabagger idiocy: :

This is from Makes sense to me!

The Teabagger Socialist-Free Purity Pledge

I, ________________________________, do solemnly swear to uphold the principles of a socialism-free society and heretofore pledge my word that I shall strictly adhere to the following:

I will complain about the destruction of 1st Amendment Rights in this country, while I am duly being allowed to exercise my 1st Amendment Rights.

I will complain about the destruction of my 2ndAmendment Rights in this country, while I am duly >being allowed to exercise my 2ndAmendment rights by legally but brazenly brandishing unconcealed firearms in public.

I will foreswear the time-honored principles of fairness, decency, and respect by screaming unintelligible platitudes regarding tyranny, Nazi-ism, and socialism at public town halls. Also.

I pledge to eliminate all government intervention in my life. I will abstain from the use of and participation in any socialist goods and services including but not limited to the following:

  • Social Security
  • Medicare/Medicaid
  • State Children's Health Insurance Programs (SCHIP)
  • Police, Fire, and Emergency Services
  • US Postal Service
  • Roads and Highways
  • Air Travel (regulated by the socialist FAA)
  • The US Railway System
  • Public Subways and Metro Systems
  • Public Bus and Lightrail Systems
  • Rest Areas on Highways
  • Sidewalks
  • All Government-Funded Local/State Projects (e.g., see Iowa 2009federal senate appropriations--
  • Public Water and Sewer Services (goodbye socialist toilet, shower, dishwasher, kitchen sink, outdoor hose!)
  • Public and State Universities and Colleges
  • Public Primary and Secondary Schools
  • Sesame Street
  • Publicly Funded Anti-Drug Use Education for Children
  • Public Museums
  • Libraries
  • Public Parksand Beaches
  • State and National Parks
  • Public Zoos
  • Unemployment Insurance
  • Municipal Garbage and Recycling Services
  • Treatment at Any Hospital or Clinic That Ever Received Funding From Local, Stateor Federal Government (pretty much all of them)
  • Medical Services and Medications That Were Created or Derived From Any Government Grant or Research Funding (again, pretty much all of them)
  • Socialist Byproducts of Government Investment Such as Duct Tape and Velcro (Nazi-NASA Inventions)
  • Use of the Internets, email, and networked computers, as the DoD's ARPANET was the basis for subsequent computer networking
  • Foodstuffs, Meats, Produce and Crops That Were Grown With, Fed With, Raised With or That Contain Inputs From Crops Grown With Government Subsidies
  • Clothing Made from Crops (e.g. cotton) That Were Grown With or That Contain Inputs From Government Subsidies
  • If a veteran of the government-run socialist US military, I will forego my VA benefits and insist on paying for my own medical care

I will not tour socialist government buildings like the Capitol in Washington, D.C.

I pledge to never take myself, my family, or my children on a tour of the following types of socialist

locations, including but not limited to:

  • Smithsonian Museums such as the Air and Space Museum or Museum of American History
  • The socialist Washington, Lincoln, and Jefferson Monuments
  • The government-operated Statue of Liberty
  • The Grand Canyon
  • The socialist World War II and Vietnam Veterans Memorials
  • The government-run socialist-propaganda location known as Arlington National Cemetery
  • All other public-funded socialist sites, whether it be in my state or in Washington, DC

I will urge my Member of Congress and Senators to forego their government salary and government-provided healthcare.

I will oppose and condemn the government-funded and therefore socialist military of the United States of America.

I will boycott the products of socialist defense contractors such as GE, Lockheed-Martin, Boeing, Northrop Grumman, General Dynamics, Raytheon, Humana, FedEx, General Motors, Honeywell, and hundreds of others that are paid by our socialist government to produce goods for our socialist army.

I will protest socialist security departments such as the Pentagon, FBI, CIA, Department of Homeland Security, TSA, Department of Justice and their socialist employees.

Upon reaching eligible retirement age, I will tear up my socialist Social Security checks.

Upon reaching age 65, I will forego Medicare and pay for my own private health insurance until I die.

SWORN ON A BIBLE AND SIGNED THIS DAY OF ____________ IN THE YEAR ______________.

___________________________ ___________________________

Signed Printed Name/Town and State


Anonymous said...

Unfortunately, the tea partiers aren't serious enough to actually believe in what they are saying. Hey, at least it makes good media "noise" though. For instance, during the 10 billion man march on September 12th, one of the biggest complaints was lack of adequate public transportation. Thus comes Texas(R) Rep. Kevin Brady to complain about the government subsidized DC Metro Service not providing adequate service for the tea partiers. The hypocrisy from this movement comes in all forms from both the local level (Robart, Grendell, and LaRose) and the national level with Republicans - pick any and all on the front lines that have not yet sponsored legislation to end socialistic programs immediately (Social Security, Medicare, VA hospitals, education programs, transportation etc). Where are these Republicans?

Rob said...

I love it, Abe!

Maybe, before those teabaggers even read your fine, patriotic pledge, they might already refrain from breathing our over-regulated clean air or drinking from government-regulated water sources!

Grumpy Abe said...

thanks for the comment, Rob. Come back again! As for the Tea Partyers, the GOP and Fox continue to encourage their medieval ignorance, as lately witnessed by the Fox producer Heidi Noonan who whipped up the Washingon protest crowd -a media sin that should have cost her job and sent her to apply for unemployment comp from the gov.

PJJinOregon said...

Here in Oregon, we've lived with the "taxes are evil" mentality for 20 years. Each time a tax reduction ballot measure appears, I ask the supporters just one question: which public service can you live without? The response is always a brain dead chant about welfare recipients, immigrants, and freedom. Tea baggers aren't rational, so using reason is the wrong tool. Look elsewhere.

Grumpy Abe said...

Yep. Their covered wagons remain stalled in a traffic jam on the Oregon Trail.