Monday, September 29, 2008


ACCORDING TO the Sunday Times of London,  the McCain camp is passing the word that Sarah Palin's pregnant daughter Bristol and her boyfriend Levi Johnston may decide to get married before the election.  The paper quotes a McCain insider as saying it would be a great boost for the campaign because "you would have every TV camera there." Right. 

        Considering all of the dumb things that have happened so far, beginning with the insane choice of an Alaskan hockey mom, a double shotgun wedding would be well within the context of  political stunts.  What else might we expect in the campaign's remaining month to extract  McCain's daily gaffes from his presidential image?  Some possibilities: 

         PALIN and her entire family will parachute into a World Series game in prime time.

         MCCAIN and Joe Lieberman will reopen Wolfies, the once-popular deli in Miami  Beach, promoting a surge of franchises throughout pacified Iraq. 

         PALIN will invite all of her skeptics to a special showing of a remote Russian fishing   village  while explaining that, unfortunately, you can't see the Arctic circle from her front           porch  because it is really only an imaginary line on the map.

          MCCAIN will try to sell his Straight Talk Express bus on eBay and spend the last two  weeks of his campaign  traveling around in one of his 13 cars to prove that he is a common  man..        

        PALIN  will meet with the president of Iceland for a second time to prove that she is a    work in progress on the  benefits of permafrost. 

       THE  Republican National Committee, with McCain's eager consent, will hire Tina Fey to stand in for Palin in the final week of the campaign.  Fortunately for McCain,  Tina doesn't           do a good impersonation of him.  But they say she's working on it.  
      On with the wedding!



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