The epidemic lunacy that is consuming Texas with dark tales of a U.S. military invasion of the Longhorn State has, of all things, forced Walmart to issue a reassuring denial that the rumors are true.
Walmart? Well, it was reported the the Feds were building tunnels under some of the giant retailer's closed stores as the staging area for an assault on the La La land of sagebrush and oil wells. Even La La Texas Gov. Greg Abbott - a Republican by trade - went so far as to order the state guard to monitor the boots under the ground in Jade Helm 15 - the lingo for a training operation that includes burrowing passageways.
One of the conspiracy theories asserted that Walmart's abandoned stores would actually serve as food disribution centers for Chinese troops who engaged in the operation. Yes, the logic escapes me, too.
You should remember, however, that Texas has never been comfortable in the embrace of the federal government. In 1861, it even voted to secede from the union and join the confederacy. And the place has never been the same with secessionist talk right up to former Gov. Rick perry, who didn't discount its possibility.
Come to think of it, with George W. Bush and Louie Gohmert in mind, wouldn't we have been a lot better off if the state had retained its mission to go its own way in 1861?