THE FIRST RESULTS have been tallied in the NEW GRUMPY ABE POLL to fit the bill as Romney's "incredibly boring white guy" as his running mate.
Here they are:
Sen. Joe Lieberman, 24 pct.
Dan Quayle, 22 pct.
Sen. Jon Kyl, 18 pct.
Sen. Mitch McConnell, 16 pct.
Ohio House Speaker Bill Batchelder, 9 pct.
Republican Chairman Reince Priebus , 8 pct.
Cleveland Browns Quarterback Colt McCoy, 6 pct.
The Rev. Pat Robertson, 2 pct.
Dick Cheney and George Bush, tied at 1.9 pct.
Pat Buchanan, 2 pct.
Tony Perkins 1.5 pct.
If the figures don't add up to 100 pct., no matter. When Republicans are assembled, their figures never add up. The poll will run until Romney chooses his veep candidate. But I should warn you that he has been known to change his mind quite often.
You won't need a photo ID to vote in this poll. And if you vote, remember that incredibly boring white guys, like corporations, are people, too.