Newt to Mitt: Cut the French, Monsieur!

WE SHOULD ALL BE GRATEFUL to Newt Gingrich for reminding us that Mitt Romney speaks French. Until now, we've been having some difficulty translating many of Romney's robust remarks on the campaign trail. But with a snotty reference to Romney's Francophilia in a TV ad (titled: The French Connection) running in South Carolina, Newt has contributed a major vein to be tapped in the days leading to that state's primary.

Aside from my late Aunt Della, who wrongly insisted that our family was French, I've never met many folks who had anything good to say about those people. It's a sort of reverse snobbery practiced by low-brows who can never explain why they hate the French - all Frenchmen! So Newt, who is playing the nasty Penguin to Romney's Batman, has decided to plow up whatever bad will that exists in the Palmetto State with his sniffing attacks.

Even in Catherine the Great's day, French was fashionable and she was quite fond of saying things like Mon Dieu and Bonjour to her Russian subjects when she wasn't purring other things to her many lovers. But an anti-French mood in America took a major plunge when France refused to support the U.S. invasion of Iraq. (Was its opposition so wrong?)

Led by right-wing megaphones (Rupert Murdoch among them), simpleton politicians decried all things French (fries, bread, kisses, Brigitte Bardot et al). Some of that dissipated under the weight of its own ignorance. Until now.

But there is a learning moment for Mitt in this: If he somehow learned to frame his answers in plain English, nobody would care a whit about the assault from the Penguin.