The bizarre dance to the mountaintop

AS THE IOWA CAMPAIGN mercifully crashed down on caucusing GOP conservatives, it seemed as though we were witnessing the final act of a bizarre Walpurgis Night, when witches climbed to the mountaintop to convene with their gods. OK, so all but one was a warlock - but you get the point.

There was no end to the savagery, as Newt went on Fox TV to call Mitt a liar, and Rick, as in

Santorum, described Ron Paul as "disgusting." Playing Mr. Cool without gravitas, Romney remained on cruise control and described Newt as a "good guy". Paul fired off the cheapest shot of all by calling Romney a "liberal". In another day or so, they all would have been challenging each other to produce birth certificates.

Meantime, I've been trying to catch up with everything else of less consequence that was going on in the world. I finally learned who Kim Kardashin is. But, damn it, I've already forgotten.

Looking to the future, the papers said the Cleveland Browns were quite upbeat about next season, which you might expect after a 4-12 season and a yet to be decided fill-in for quarterback.

Jenny McCarthy (you remember her, don't you?) kissed a cop in Times Square on New Year's Eve for a photo-op.

The Los Vegas Hlton changed its name to the Las Vegas Hotel and Casino.

And, Samoa lost a day by going past the International Dateline - a feat that I'll never understand.

Almost forgot: Pat Robertson told his 700 Club audience that God had confided to him who will win the presidency this year. Robertson was coy about it, saying he could not break God's confidence by revealing the winner. But the reverend, who is a past victor in the Iowa caucuses, said God wasn't at all pleased with Obama. With those odds against him, and coupled with the Koch Brothers and the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, you have to wonder why Obama would even run.