New handbook has Latin for Dummies

THE NEW REPUBLICAN National Committee Website refers to GOP Icon Ronald Reagan as Ronaldus Magnus. You don't have to be a Latin scholar to understand the meaning. In fact, I doubt very much whether there are any Latin scholars or anyone else at the RNC these days. Still, I like the idea of Latin names for people who normally speak in the vernacular. Besides, Reagan is now the party's fifth saint to the right of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. The Gospels don't lie.

Let's see. In my quest to be hip with current progressive trends, I would have no trouble with Jonus Boehnerus Caracallus and Marcus Sanfordus Infidelus. Dickus Chenus Caligulatus would qualify if you added Monstrus to the surname. Yeah, I like that, too. Georgeus Bushus Nero would be OK if you weren't asked to explain the Nero part. Otherwise, drop the Nero and add Imperiatus . There are a lot of Caesars running around politics these days, but they can't measure up to Augustus. Anybody messing with this emperor's name would do so at his own peril. Take your time in identifying others. Rome wasn't built in a day. Oh, Tomus DeLayus Maximus Chachatus also works for me.

Take it from there. You may become the wave of the future. Well, at least a ripple.