We've been told that the name change idea at the University of Akron is "still under discussion." Not that it is at the same priority level as seeking more ways to cut the budget, staff and departments. (Um..."disinvestment" they disguise it in the polite upper reaches of the administration).
May I come in? Since Rubber Ducks has already been claimed by the Akron Aeros, I would suggest THE Harvard West U. as the Zippies new name. With the added prestige, the school could immediately double its tuition instead of the annual incremental increases to pay the many bills. And it could convert its new football stadium into a giant receptacle for a lake for a serious Harvard-style inquiry to convert Lake Anna into a bottomless source of fresh water for California.
Even better, the scholarly research might develop a way to ship freshwater icebergs to California - a concept that has been on people's minds for a long, long time. In the 1970s, for example, Mohammad al-Faisal, nephew of the king and a promoter of towed icebergs, went so far as to have a two-ton berg shipped from the Arctic to Iowa for a conference on how to do it. But the cost made it prohibitive for Amazon to make it available to collectors.
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For all of the naysayers among some Democratic gurus, Republican oracles and the ever vigilant Cleveland media who are dissing Ted Strickland's age in his bid for the U.S.Senate, here's a tidbit you might want to consider: At 73, Strickland is of the same age as Iconic Ronald Reagan when the latter was sworn in for a second term. Haven't read anything since then that Dutch was too old when he sought to return to the Oval Office. Almost forgot: Jim Rhodes, another Republican icon and media star, celebrated his 72nd birthday during his fourth term.
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In my tireless quest to recognize the many rising Republican stars, I discovered one in the report of Dr. Ben Carson's featured talk to the Cuyahoga County Lincoln Day (!) Dinner Saturday night. The Plain Dealer reported that top tier Republicans, normally white guys before they head south for winter vacations in the sun, are "happy to have a black rising star on their side," as the PD described him. That's one.