- Our Gov. Kasich's pugnacious boast that he would "punch Putin in the nose." It was one of his notable "guy" things to demonstrate our fearless foreign policy. That struck a rousing note at Ohio Republican headquarters, which promptly issued a puffy press release about the governor 's vision of a "clear" solution to defeat ISIS. Oh, the statement then requested a $25 contribution to the campaign.
- Ted Cruz's satanic endorsement of carpet bombing Syria to destroy ISIS, regardless of whether it would kill a lot of innocent Syrian adults and children. I think Ben Carson , a neurosurgeon, agreed with Cruz, noting that brain surgery is painful to the patient, too.
- All of the world's troubles have been caused by President Obama, to whom Hillary was hyphenated in every reference.Most of the candidates sneakily endorsed an ISIS plan that the U.S. is already carrying out.
- Donald Trump, with the mugging hubris of a carefree billionaire, argued that America should hang out the No Admission sign to Muslims and, if elected, he guaranteed that he would keep us safe.
- Carley Fiorina, the exiled corporate CEO, asserted that America could solve its internet crisis over enemy encryption by inviting corporate America to take over the challenge. "But it hasn't been asked," supposed Carley. (A personal note: I've just gone through many painful hours on the phone with a major internet provider in the wake of a browser update on my computer to resolve the ensuing issues. Finally, a new voice on the phone corrected the original problem in a couple of minutes simply by leading me to an on-screen icon we hadn't visited before! And I wasn't encrypted.)
- Kasich boasted that he balanced the budget in Ohio (an act of mercy required by the Ohio Constitution).
- Trump, a white collar terrorist engaged in a hostile takeover of the Republican Party, was put off by the nature of the hostile questions directed to him.
- Jeb! was feistier and the least scary of the herd as he worked on a new liftoff for his distant campaign.
- When the wannabes mercifully ended their cranky self-serving busiwork in chaos, the two principal demonic characters - Trump and Cruz - left me in a panic that I might have to endure either one for four years.
Wednesday, December 16, 2015
GOP muscles up in another scary Demolition Derby
Takeaways that would be best left on stage from the Republicans frantic moon shots in Sin City: