I've read that archaeologists have discovered that the early humans (not the Ohio Republican caucus, for heaven's sake!) managed to defend the hearth against mammoths by employing spears and clubs, and maybe a stone or two. What can we learn from these primitives in the current controversy over guns?
Will resourceful guys like Rep. Jim Renacci and Wayne LaPierre, who tell us that the ill-use of protective armaments arise from sick minds, next promote bedside spears and clubs as our last line of defense against intruders? Are we on the verge of a new industry in America that will lead us all to the outdoor sportsman spear-and-club range just to be on the safe side?
The military has been known to use excitably noisy guinea hens to alert the gate guards of intruders. No research has turned up the effectiveness of a guinea hen alert system against prehistoric mammoths. With spears and clubs, we may have a breakthrough on your safety and mine from our Republican friends. Be a spear carrier for the GOP. Call your congressman today!