BULLETIN: We've just gotten word that as part of the Republicans' fix-up,clean-up, move-up Spring cleaning chores, they have cleared space in the Rayburn House Office Building to accommodate some very important new residents.
One of the new offices adjoining Speaker John Boehner's digs will go to the NRA's Wayne LaPierre, a non-elected VIP who will be conveniently on hand to advise the troops on their next move in the gun control debate. Just down the hall will be an office for David Keene, the NRA's president. And a few paces beyond that will be the double office of the Koch Brothers, a nice office for Grover Norquist, as well as smaller offices for Karl Rove, Donald Trump, Rush Limbaugh, and several bank and health insurance company lobbyists.
Boehner, who is in charge of the we-are-family overhaul, said it will be classified as another move by the GOP not only to satisfy its base but also to prove once again that the party is not ungrateful for the grassroots help it has received from right-wing lobbyists.
"They will be closer than an e-mail away from the heart and soul of our business on Capitol Hill," Boehner said.
Some of the space will be sliced from Nancy Pelosi's office and that of a half dozen Democrats who sit as a minority on House committees. "They don't need the space anymore now," Bohner said, forcing a sly smile as he blew another smoke ring from his cigaret. "They don't have anything to do anyway."
The interview was interrupted by an aide who hurriedly advised the Speaker that Mr.LaPierre was on the phone and wanted to see him in the million-dollar gun lobbyist's office next door - without delay!"
Boehner rushed out without even asking what the call was all about.
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Despite Grumpy Abe's obvious spoof of congressional Republicans' coddling of the party's enabling lobbies and contributors, there lies a germ of authenticity in his fictional satire at the GOP's fawning reliance on the them. In the mid-1990s when Newt Gingrich and Tom DeLay led the "Republican Revolution" in the House, powerful business lobbies were granted occasional space in the U.S. Capitol to write legislation -- often alongside compliant GOP congresspersons -- favorable to their interests. That legislation was then vetted by the Republican leaders, shunted to committees and on to the floor for action. In short, public policy was being fashioned by non-elected lobbyists, using free space in a government edifice.
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