Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Anybody know a Generic Republican?

WE NOW HAVE a rising entry among the presidential candidates. The pollsters are seriously referring to it as "Generic Republican". It's the mysterious name they are using in matchups against President Obama. I've been wondering: Are they referring to Abraham Lincoln?Hardly, he held the Union together instead of dividing it. Oh, then it must be the immortal Ronald Reagan. Except that he presided over 18 debt ceiling increases and didn't do a thing about abortion. He would hardly do. No style points there.

Let's see. George "Read My Lips" Bush. No way. He raised taxes and spent his leisure time in a place strangely known as Kennebunkport (close by Saco Biddeford, which I'm told doesn't appear on any map in Texas, where men are men.) Besides, who can spell Kennebunkport without looking it up, which I just did? Dubya Bush? Whoa there, Tonto. Republicans hardly mention him any more, and for good reason.

So who is this "Generic Republican" running for president - the one who may be among the stand-ins for "None of the Above"? He/she may well be named by a non-elected lobbyist, Grover Norquist. He's the guy who got a majority of Republicans on Capitol Hill to sign a pledge (on a slate tablet?) never to raise taxes. It was sort of a pagan covenant with Norquist, the Republican anti-tax God, and a vindictive one at that against anyone who defies him.

I'll bet all of the voters who sent an army of Republican lawmakers to Capitol Hill really believed their candidates who pledged to serve them, not Grover. At this rate, could he be the Generic Republican? And while I'm at it, what is a Generic Republican these days anyway?

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