Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Shall we all chip in to catch the illegals?

THERE'S BEEN A lot of scary talk going around these days about aliens, illegal and celestial, that may force some of us to retreat to our nearest closet. Although you do have to wonder about the panicky Arizona Republican pols who coldly ditched the rights of a free society, the concern for undocumented aliens was elevated by Stephen Hawking, the preeminent theoretical physicist who told us to be on the lookout for uninvited celestial visitors - a warning that Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer never thought to mention when she signed the new look-me-over state law. In fairness, there's just so much you can think about when you are running for reelection.

Appearing on the new Discovery Channel series, Hawking darkly cautioned:
"We only have to look at ourselves to see how intelligent life might develop into something we wouldn't want to meet. I imagine they might exist in massive ships, having used up all of the resources from their home planet. Such advanced aliens would perhaps become nomads, looking to conquer and colonize whatever planets they can reach...."
Hawking's words don't get any cheerier:
"If aliens ever visit us, I think the outcome would be much as when Christopher Columbus first landed in America, which didn't turn out very well for the Native Americans." (Nor for a lot of other people we have read about, either.)
Meantime, a Republican congressional candidate in Iowa has a fail-safe scientific solution to keeping track of of illegal aliens. Microchips. Dr. Pat Bertroche, a psychiatrist who has more experience brainstorming humans than I, should be the one to explain his weird idea:
"I think we should catch 'em, we should document 'em, make sure we know where they are and where they are going. I actually support micro-chipping them. I can micro-chip my dog so I can find it. Why can't I micro-chip an illegal?"
Sorry, but that's not the newest of ideas. The nation's right-wingers have long suspected that there are shifty-looking people on the federal payroll lurking in dark alleys who have reasonable doubt about a person's legal existence and are ready to implant the magic chip.

Indeed, cybernetics might easily come into play if you observe some of those suspicious folks rising for their moments of robotic oratory in the Senate. Frank Luntz, the GOP librettist and Big Brother, has already seen to that. We will always know who you are - and where you are.


ReaganFan84 said...

There is definitely a lot of unfounded hysteria and misinformation coming from the left in regards to the Arizona immigration bill.

My advice to anyone who has concerns.......READ THE ACTUAL BILL!!!

TimJayFitz said...

I did - thats where the concerns come from.
Turns out its all well-founded hysteria.

fargo said... it ...its even worse than I thought. It takes a big ole shit right on the Constitution.....guilty until not proven brown.

This is the very Big Brother type of thing that the Tea Baggers rail against and they and the "Libertarians" find this acceptable?

Of course it is not wholly without merit...I could see us assigning the same kind of profiling to Goldman Sachs employees. I assume they are ALL guilty of something unless they can prove otherwise. I sentence them all to the State of Arizona where they can wash the dishes and do the land scaping for Spanish speaking Americans.

ReaganFan84 said...


If you read the bill, you will see it prohibits racial profiling. In order for someone to be stopped, there has to be a LAWFUL BASIS....for example a traffic stop when someone has been speeding. In addition, there has to be a REASONABLE SUSPICION that someone might be an illegal.....for example being unable to provide a valid driver's liscense. Only then can a law enforcement official begin inquiring into the person's legal status.

"Teabaggers" don't rail against this law because enforcing our country's immigration laws is a proper role of government. Why is that so different for those on the left to understand?

fargo said...

Traffic stops??? ...a close friend of mine doesn't drive through Cuyahoga Falls anymore after being pulled over for being black once too often. The last time resulted in his entire car being searched after driving 30 in a 25 zone. Pardon me ReaganFan but I know exactly how this goes down.

If you want to address this issue honestly then start with the Rebublican business owners who extend a quasi invitation to illegal workers to come work here under the table. How do I know they are Repbulicans???...just a little profiling on my part...most of them seem suspicious to me so lets start pulling them over.