Political life can be odd, if not always beautiful.

Let me try to sort out a few mostly odd odds and ends this week:

When Joseph Palazzo, the former tech director of the Cuyahoga Heights School District, was convicted of stealing $3.4 million from the schools, the Plain Dealer reported, Palazzo apologized  to U.S.District Judge Benita Pearson and declared that he had suffered a "lapse in judgment" and would never do it again.  Given that he was sentenced to 11 years and four months in a Federal prison, it would have to be awhile.

The PD also told us of Allen Warner's day in court for "secretly recording nude images of two former mistresses and a teenage grirl  using cameras hidden  in clocks and video players.

The 60-year-old voyeur,who apologized, told the court he had no idea he was doing anything wrong..  The court thought otherwise and sentenced Warner to a 17 year-hitch  for "voyeurism, pandering  sexually oriented material involving a minor and pornography related crimes".

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It was a better week for GOP  Reps. Michele Bachmann and Louie Gohmert, and a terrible one for Congressman Paul Broun, the nutty Georgia Republican. Bachmann once lamented that if the rascals in the White House continued to assault the wallets of Americans, some day "there won't be any rich people in America."  She can relax.  Several reliable sources have now reported that people with assets of more than $1 million soared  more than 11 pct.  in 2012 in North America, a continent in first place on the planet with $12.7 trillion in assets.

I needn't remind you that I have long considered Gohmert, the Texas guy, to be the perennial claimant to the congressional dunce cap.  No longer.  It is now claimed by Broun, an MD, who has never stopped Biblically ranting about the evils of science.  He has again told us of the planet's twin-evils: evolution and the big bang theory.

"God's word is true," says Dr. Broun.  "...All that stuff I was taught about evolution and embryology and the big bang theory, all that is from  the pit of hell.  It's lies to try to keep me and all the folks who were taught that from understanding that they need a savior."  (Or. at least Broun, whichever comes first in politics.) Yadayadayada. ..  Move over,  Louie. Don't think you can top this for now.

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Finally, I've figured out the heart of the congressional wingies' opposition to humane immigration reform.  They simply don't like Latinos. No way.

As for the abortion controversy,  I propose that we contact our congressmen to support  a law that serves two purposes:  Any congressmen who will be voting to restrict abortions must first present a photo ID - a photo ID  - to determine whether there is a tell-tale  scar from  a birth controlling vasectomy.  Those who fail the exam  will be barred from going to a Major League baseball game to watch a team with more than two  Latino players. Problem solved.

Darrell Issa: Catching up with Louie Gohmert

We get a little spooked when we hear a congressman who is  the Republicans' leading investigator  engtangle himself in the the English language. We could have forgiven my immigrant grandmother for imprecise references to little things like verbs and nouns.  But when Darrell Issa, the Republican chairman and Inspector Clouseau of the House Oversight Committee does it, you have to wonder whether America has moved one step closer to Orwell's Newspeak.

Issa,  a forever showboating right-wing nuisance, has yet to produce anything of substance from his feral probes.  Back in February 2012 , you may remember,  he barred Sandra Fluke from appearing on his all-male panel on contraception, supposing she lacked "expertise". That raised the bar to declaring that condoms and such are only a guy thing.

Now, back in the fetid trenches of Benghazi, Issa insisted  that "an act of terror is different from terrorist actions".

Huh?  Right.   For this profound insight into international terrorism and American unpreparedness  (read: Obama/Clinton deriliction) we have  hauled out the cherished Grumpy Abe Linguistic Lunacy  (GALL)  Award for the congressman.

That will put him still a tad behind  on this day to the Louie Gohmert Award.  But with Issa, you can be certain there will  be more opportunities for him to even the score.