When Mitt met Dirty Harry in Tampa version

AS THE TV cameras channeled the final night of the Republican convention into our home,    I remembered reading of Dean Martin's opening line for his show at the Sands in Las Vegas:

"Who are  all of you people and what are you doing in my room?"

Some thoughts:

Romney surprised nobody with his warm and fuzzy references to God, motherhood, America and, of course,  businessmen.   It was part John Wayne tough guy and part the caring small-town  preacher with no limit to his blessings.    It was the stuff of sermons for hawkish frontiersmen heading out to  dispatch  the horse thieves from the range. God and guy stuff.

Still, he lost me immediately with his description of  Paul Ryan that went: "He represents the best in America."

He said what?   Forgive me for asking,  is this the same Paul Ryan who was ripped from coast to coast for telling so many lies in his own speech?  I have a feeling that Ryan's recklessness with the truth will make him a high maintenance guy as the campaign  moves on in earnest.

 But the fellow who gave the benediction, Cardinal Dolan, doesn't mind.  He had said earlier that he found Ryan to be an "upright guy".  Even when he bears false witness?

And how about Mitt insisting that America "united" behind Obama when he was elected, hoping for a better America.  Who wrote that whopper in his speech?  Who ignored the truculent threats by the big guys in the GOP to block Obama from Day One on any  initiative  - which the Tea Party controlled House of Representatives and their parrots have done for four years.

My notes also show:    Romney attacks Obamacare without mentioning its predecessor,  Romneycare. In your face!

Turn now to the most pathetic appearance of the night: Clint Eastwood's embarrassing off the cuff drivel that stumbled, mumbled and struggled in a way that did no favors for guys his age (82).  This was Dirty Harry going after Obama.  You remember his Hollywood role of Dirty Harry Callahan, don't you?  He was the terrorizing cop who broke all of the rules of police work in nailing the bad guys.  I kept hoping that the lights would go out in the hall for a few seconds and when the place lit up again, Clint would have mercifully vanished - for his own good. It was an ugly scene in an arena where you can always make an allowance for a little goofiness. But not this.  My notes:  The delegates seem delighted.

Another note:    Why is Newt Gingrich still hanging around the action?  The media can't resist him, nor he, they. Alas, will we never see his promised permanent base on the moon in his "second term"?

Finally, back to Romney:  Would it be a kinder, gentler nation under him?   Morning in America?  Compassionately conservative?  Don't know about you, but even as cliches, none of them seemed to fit this orchestrated, tightly-strung mystery  candidate on this night.  He was simply the old Romney being the old Romney. Oh, and another thing in my scrawl: If there's so much out there against Obama's "failed" presidency,  why did Romney &  Co. make so many things up?

If you watched this spectacle of empty suits and a spent old incoherent Hollywood actor,  can you say that you are better off now than you were before it began?

Another ill-wind from Rushbo

We can expect a lot of silly things to come out of the Tampa  convention, but who can top Crazy Rush Limbaugh's charge that President Obama was responsible for the first-day cancellation of the event?  He accused the president of tampering with weather forecasts to make it appear that the city  would be struck Monday by Hurricane Isaac.  He said although he wasn't a conspiracy theorist, "It's the government.  It's Obama!"   No, it's a radio-TV host whose fans believe that Rushbo, not Obama,  is God.  

Will the bells toll for the GOP revelers?

It was good to see that Ohio will get some attention at the Republican Convention, even if it's for all of the wrong reasons.  On Tuesday night,  Gov. Kasich will be wedged into the program to speak on  something that might be called, "How to succeed in business - no matter what Barack tells you." It's been one of "Myth" Romney's theme songs to satisfy  his uber-capitalist base  even if he was born with a big silver spoon in his crib.

It matters not to him that his quest for the Oval Office is being heavily financed by  some of America's richest right-wing escorts, without whom he would be a footnote to presidential history.

Meantime, we can only hope that Kasich won't rely on his previous word for Californians as "wackadoodles" even though many of that state's delegates probably are.

Until then, we turn to John Donne, the oft-quoted English poet, lawyer and clergyman, for inspiration  in hopes that somebody down in Orlando will  repeat it to the "we built it"  GOP revelers:

Here, in full and not out of context, are the words of John Donne:

No man is an island
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent.
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea.
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thine own
Or of thine  friend's were .
Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.

Conventional honor role?

Grumpy post mortem: 

McCain's new source of alternative energy:  Sarah Palin.

Most expensive outfit for a single evening: According to Vanity Fair,  Cindy McCain's  Oscar de la Renta dress, 3-carat diamond earrings and other fixings were worth nearly $400,000. (That  should end the talk of the memory loss about the number of their  houses.)

Worst color backdrop:  That awful pale green that was was so criticized  after McCain's New Orleans speech. One call to Sherwin-Williams would have helped enormously .

Most criticized speech by conservative analysts:  McCain's acceptance speech, which rambled, was flat and and filled with the boilerplate of GOP conventions long past. They also have to do something about that mechanical grin. 

Dominant convention mood:  Hawkishness and the powerful undertow of Christian  Right  subplots. 

Worst slip of the tongue: Tom Ridge's reference to "John Bush" - which he mercifully corrected.

Most peripatetic GOP analyst:  Karl Rove, the never-say-die political  advisor/crystal gazer  who was born again, and again, and again...But even Nostradamus had his bad days.  

Most manic major speaker:   Rudy Giuliani. I hope they didn't pay him for his warmup act.   

Most abused  endeavor, according to the headliners: Community organizing. 

Best line about the convention  by a hometown Democrat:  "Jesus was a community organizer.

Pilate was a mayor."

Most ignored Republicans:  George Bush and Dick Cheney.  It's almost enough to offer sympathy to Bush in exile.   But I won't.  

Most invidious comparison:  Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin.  It's possible the Republicans will wish they hadn't.  

M0st overdone word that I hope never to hear again:  Maverick.  (Followed closely by "reform".)

Most ignored issues:  failed home mortgages, rising unemployment, the U.S. financial industry, tens of millions of uninsured, the overwhelming federal budget deficits that would grow worse under more tax cuts, crippling health care costs.  (If that's whining, Phil Gramm, make the most of it.) 

Most unspoken figure:  $27 million in federal earmarks to Wasilla while Palin was mayor of her little town..

Strangest sexist reference to Palin by a delegate:  A badge that said "Hottest VP."

Best post-convention news:  Everybody went home.    Or wherever.