If you happen to be reading this, it means you have survived Black Friday in precious time for Cyber Monday. That means some lucky retailers can celebrate Phenomenal Tuesday, and all that follows. Humongous Wednesday? Happy-Go-Lucky Thursday? Friggin' Friday?
'Tis that time of the year, so we ought not to crab about the annual madness to inspire folks to line up in frigid pre-dawn queues to achieve the Golden Bargain. At least, that's what I've been told.
Personally, I have never outgrown my small-town's modest seasonal awakening when the handful of shop owners on Main Street strung tinsel and lights on their windows and then laid out their goods as if it were still July.
But then, we didn't have Santa showing up in TV commercials to sell cars in November nor shopping malls piping the air with Rudolph and his red nose. I'm jolly well ready to scream.
Life in a Retail/Master Card Society has been in overdrive this year. Some stores eagerly opened Thanksgiving night, a thankless task for the workers that I once suffered with a morning newspaper.
Meantime the media reported such frenetic hustling as...jingle cash, BOGO, sale of a lifetime, doorbusters, sale to end all sales, bonus savings, three-days-only offers, special financing, instant savings, and the inducement that required pocket calculators: 30 pct. off 50 pct. off original ticket, and second purchase half-off. Most of these were stressed with exclamation points! ) You tell me.
Naively, I only wanted an Italian ice cream cone with no down payment and 30 years to pay. Come to think of it, I loved by hometown.