Sunday, November 30, 2014

'Tis the season to be hustled

If you happen to be reading this, it means you have survived Black Friday in precious time for Cyber Monday.  That means some lucky retailers can celebrate Phenomenal Tuesday,   and all that follows. Humongous  Wednesday? Happy-Go-Lucky Thursday? Friggin' Friday?

'Tis that time of the year, so we ought not to crab  about the annual madness to inspire folks to line up in frigid pre-dawn queues to achieve the Golden Bargain.  At least, that's what I've been told.

Personally, I  have never outgrown  my small-town's  modest seasonal awakening when the handful of shop owners  on Main Street strung tinsel and lights on their windows and  then laid out their goods as if it were still July.

But then, we didn't have Santa showing up in TV commercials to sell cars in November  nor shopping malls piping the air with  Rudolph and his  red nose.  I'm jolly well ready to scream.

Life in a Retail/Master Card Society has been in overdrive this year.  Some stores eagerly opened Thanksgiving  night, a thankless task  for the workers that I once suffered with a morning newspaper.

Meantime the media reported such frenetic  hustling as...jingle cash,  BOGO, sale of a lifetime, doorbusters, sale to end all sales, bonus savings, three-days-only offers, special financing, instant savings, and the inducement  that required pocket calculators: 30 pct.  off  50 pct. off original ticket,  and second purchase half-off. Most of these were stressed with exclamation points! )  You tell me.

Naively, I only wanted an Italian ice cream cone with no down payment and 30 years to pay.  Come to think of it, I loved by hometown.

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