Sunday, September 5, 2010

Next logical step: Reforming the 10 Commandments

A FRIEND WHO FINALLY landed a job as a fast-food dishwasher in Washington reports that John Boehner & Co. have decided to strike out in a startling new direction from months of calling for changes in the Constitution.. "They've decided there isn't much more mileage to be gained with the voters who have a short interest span anyway and they plan a major assault on the Ten Commandments," he told me.

"That's pretty risky business, " I said. "The Commandments have been around for a long time."

"Apparently that makes no difference to the reformers. They say that given the current mood of the country they can't afford to pass up this window of opportunity to advance their goals for a permanent Republican majority."

"Yes, that does make some sense. What are Commandments for if you can't break them as needed. Do they want to rewrite all of them?"

"No, that would be too disruptive for all of the TV preachers who condition their troops for Republican causes. At the moment, they are only looking at the Ninth Commandment."

"Which is ---?"

"---You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. They will argue that the Commandment is obsolete inasmuch as it was handed to Moses long before there was a Glenn Beck or Michele Bachmann. But they feel a wisp of guilt when their children and grandchildren are around. By eliminating the Commandment, they can do what they are already doing without having to explain it to their families."

"Wow! They always think of something."

"They're just getting started. When Boehner becomes the House Speaker in the next Congress they have plans go after other things that we have long taken for granted."

"For instance?"

"I can only say that two congressmen from Texas came into our restaurant the other day to pass out copies of a new Boy Scout Oath."


PJJinOregon said...

Not wanting to sound like a religious scholar, I hold me breath. But let me remind you that some followers of the 10 commandments say that the ninth deals with not coveting your neighbor's wife. Republican dropped "do not bear false witness against your neighbor" a long time ago - about the time they discovered negative campaign ads.

Grumpy Abe said...

PJ, you must be reading the Charlton Heston version. The one that appears on my screen says it is the 9th,. For $.25 and an SASE I'll send it to you. But I'll concede that the Republicans may have changed it to coveting the neighbor's wife. That probably occurred on C street when Sen. Ensign showed up.

Anonymous said...

It will be amazing what the new Republican leadership won't be able to fix. The economy will be fixed immediately. Iranian nuclear advancement will be halted immediately. Terrorism will never rear its head again. And now changing the 10 Commandments! Maybe Speaker-elect Boehner the Great and Majority Leader McConnell can appoint Phyllis Schlafly to the charge while she and her son are busily rewriting the bible to ensure a conservative interpretation.