For GOP, another defining cattle call

We are now quickly  approaching the Republicans' next defining millennial  moment in their guarantee of life, liberty and the pursuit of Barack Obama.  There are reports out of the GOP-controlled House of Representatives that it will vote on Wednesday to repeal the Affordable Care Act.  Nobody doubts that it will.  The cattle call has gone out to the all of the party's representatives suffering from what appears to be post-traumatic stress disorders  to close the deal in the wake of the Supreme Court decision.    Not that it will make a whit of difference.  This is purely stagecraft.  It leads me to wonder why it isn't listed in the New York Times' off-Broadway lineup.  And why the reps are paid with taxpayers' money to produce the farce.

Mandel's $$$ buddies: Jot down the Koch Brothers

We happened to catch a TV political attack ad on Sen. Sherrod Brown, not a  rare intrusion into my program viewing these days.   It was sponsored by American Commitment, one of those shadowy players  whose name means so little to so many folks beyond the Potomac.  What made this more interesting than the others, I discovered with a few minutes research, is its president, a guy named Phil Kerpen (pictured).  He's listed on the web  as a columnist on Fox News Opinion, chairman of the Internet Freedom Coalition and a former vice president of policy for Americans for Prosperity.

In other words, he's a lobbyist for generic conservative groups whose names normally promote starry patriotic  themes like freedom, (from taxes) liberty (from taxes)  and...American Commitment (to unseat Democrats who stand in the way of lowering taxes, fatter profits,  and deregulation.)

You could go on and on about the things that keep these folks up at night, but the one group that stands out in Kerpen's resume is Americans for  Prosperity.

That's the mega-funded juggernaut founded by David Koch, a billionaire who wants to rearrange  American life to suit his own rich stake in the land .  He and his brother are doing so by laying up tons of cash in House and Senate races, including Ohio's.  You might wonder what a man of Koch's vast wealth is doing birthing  organizations with prosperity in the title since he already has more dough than he needs to buy his own country.

But the intersection of Kerpen, Americans Commitment, Americans for Prosperity and the Kochs is a sweet deal for Brown's whizzy  Republican opponent, Josh Mandel, who doesn't appear in the ad but you can bet the Statue of Liberty that Josh is well aware of it every waking moment of his day.

So factor into Mandel the name of David Koch, one of seveal of Josh's silent partners.

And so far, it hasn't worked despite the millions that the Mandel campaign is spending on attack ads.  A late Quinnipiac poll  has  Brown about 11 pts. ahead  with Josh settled in at 36.6 pct..

In the Caymans, a penny hidden is a penny saved

After reading about Mitt Romney's unreported tax-free millions that he has stashed in Swiss banks and the Cayman Islands, we were so inspired by his clever accounting that we decided to do a little investing, too.  We called the International Hide-and-Seek Bank in the Caymans to learn more about their appealing deposit plans.

When a polished voice came to the phone, I explained my mission:

"I would like to deposit some tax-free money in your bank."

"Yes, sir.  That's why we're  here. No one will ever know because we deal in the strictest confidence.  "

"Right. That's what I've been told."

"How much would you wish to deposit?"

"I would wish to begin with $24.63.

(Pause.)

"I'm sorry, I didn't get that.  Was that millions or billions?"

"No, sir.  $24.63. That's all I can afford."

"Surely, sir, you are kidding."

"I think not.  I grew up in a fiscally conservative Middle Eastern family, tight-fisted as hell,  and if there was one thing my father never kidded about, it was money."

'I see.  But what's the point of depositing so little with us when your tax savings  - let me figure this out - would be less than a penny?"

"You must understand,  my friend, that a penny hidden is a penny earned."

"I'm sorry, sir, I don't think we can hide any of your money so if you'll simply ---"

"OK, I can round it off to an even $25 and ---."

 Click.

Moral:  If you can't match Mitt Romney's hidden treasure, it's best not to flaunt  your own $24.63.  

Reince Priebus: GOP's wannabe Jon Stewart

Readers,  what would we do without Republican National Chairman Reince Priebus offering us comic relief from the otherwise dreary narrative of  the party's election year playbook?  I mean, he's the megaphone of the national party and there he was telling Wolf Blitzer (who isn't that exciting himself) that  Rep. Allen West was "one of the most  dynamic new Republican stars in our Party...He's got a bright future."

That was  the chaiman's side-splitting response to  Blitzer's question about West describing Obama as a slave boss. Or as West put it earlier about Obama: "He'd rather you be his slave and be economically dependent on him."

Pressed by Blitzer to take the thought further, Priebus declared, "Allen West is an important member of Congress from South Florida.  I'm not going to throw Allen West in a ditch."

Funny that he should refer to West as a dynamic  Republican  star when the same rising star said recently that there were at least 80 or so Communists in Congress!.  On to the ditch, I say!

The authorized version of Tressel's UA arrival

It now seems likely  that former Ohio State University football coach Jim Tressel's personal authorized history officially began the day he arrived at the University of Akron as the school's "vice president for strategic engagement".  Akron, UA's alumni magazine,  featured him in a cover story that ranged across two full inside pages without a hint of how he came to be available for the newly created campus job.

Why am I now grouped with Cleveland voters?

To my despair,  I have learned that my neighborhood in Fairlawn, which is a few minutes away from Akron, is in the Eleventh Congressional District.  That means my vote will be dumped into the new boundaries that include Euclid, East Cleveland, Shaker Heights and  Cleveland. My  congresswoman will be Marcia Fudge, a Democrat,  the former mayor of Warrensville Heights.  I'm sure she is a competent representative.   But I live in Fairlawn, some distance from the bulk of her constituents. Excuse me if as a voter I feel isolated from the crowd.  Excuse me again if I say the Republicans responsible for  butchering the new congressional districts couldn't have cared less about the relationship between the People's House on Capitol Hill and me. Am I not a people?

Did I say People's House?  Defining people has taken some strange turns this political season.  Mitt Romney insisted that corporations are people.  And the   gang in Columbus that isolated my neighborhood in an alien  Cleveland  people zone was greedily at work in  building a still greater GOP force in Congress that already boasts of 12 of the state's 16 congressional seats.
Their math is telling.   May we conclude that three out of four Ohioans are Republicans even though the state went to Barack Obama in 2008?

A little history of this ridiculous scheme:  When I arrived in Summit County more than four decades ago , there was but one congressman,   Bill Ayers, a Republican.  He was ousted by Democrat John Seiberling in 1970.  To no avail, the local Republican front office spent many restless nights trying to figure out how to win back the county.

It didn't get any easier in 1987 when Seiberling retired and turned the seat over to Tom Sawyer, the city's Democratic mayor. After more restless nights,  the local and State GOP decided  the best way to rid the county of Sawyer after 15 years was to carve  up his district, pitting him against Tim Ryan, of Niles, in the Democratic primary.  It was a no-win  challenge to Sawyer with the eastern part of the county dumped into  Ryan-leaning territory.  The county has now evolved into three congressional districts with Fudge, Ryan and Republican Steve LaTourette (a bit of the northern patch  of the county).

It's a mess  from the Master Carvers of Columbus. (There was a moment or two when I thought my neighborhood would end up in Toronto).

Ah. but others have taken note of this villainous handiwork.  Voters First, set up by the League of Women Voters, has filed petitions with the Secretary of State - more than 430,000 signatures - to place a constitutional amendment on the November ballot to create a non-partisan  citizens commission to draw up district boundaries.  I hope it works , but at least I am now assured that there are 430,000 others in this a state who care about fairer representatation as much as I do.


UPDATE: Thanks to a reader, I now can tell you that the goulash called Summit County congressional districts is even more tasteless.  The county actually has four congressmen - four!   I have overlooked Democratic Rep. Betty Sutton, which  ended up with a horribly malformed district  zigzagging south across part of the county  from Lorain to Green.       How did my new district escape Toronto?   I stand corrected.  


UPDATE NO. 2:  A Republican called to inform me that there were four congressmen with bits of Summit County in 1972 when Democrats drew the lines.  The one that escaped me was a single township  assigned to the late  Rep. John Ashbrook.  So I must ask:  Is there anyone out there who can report five?  

The Higgs Boson: Now for a down-to-earth inquiry

AS WE ALL -  at least  some of us - awaited the official word on the discovery of the so-called God particle,  the long pursuit of the universe's missing link reminded us that science never gives up on adding one more clue in defining what we and the mysterious universe might be all about.  I'm hardly qualified as a layman to go beyond  the surface of the reports that the $10 billion  experiment by countless scientists aided by the highest tech available are  99.99 pct. sure of the presence of the  Higgs boson - the other name for the elusive particle that is said to be the first expression of spatial birth.

Some will say, why bother when there is so much need on the tiny particle called earth?  Yet that has never been the case with serious  human inquiry.  Galileo would know better than I how to answer that.  Or the Curies or Edisons.   Still, they should now explain a recent Kaiser public opinion poll that told us how much farther we have to go to overcome the indifference of so many people to things they ought to know without  the aid of supercolliders and commitment to scientific inquiry.  The survey flat out reported that 41 pct. of  those surveyed weren't even aware that the U.S. Supreme Court had just handed down an historic ruling on health care!

Folks, help me.  Take  it from here.

Matt isn't drudgery for Mitt

MITT ROMNEY finally answered a specific question with a specific answer.  Responding to an inquiry by NEWSMAX Magazine about what media he prefers, Romney  offered a small exclusive group that included right-wing gossipmonger Matt Drudge (at right) as well as onlines Fox News, Wall Street Journal and  New York Times - the latter  a sine qua non for national pols.

On the other hand he rejects Newsweek and Time Magazine, explaining:

"I'm afraid Newsweek and Time have fallen off my shelf, they're not what they used to be in terms of my interest, but I still read The Wall Street Journal and The New York Times in paper version, if it's available."

It is, Mitt.  Every day.

boehner's words on gas prices: A pain is a pain

 

At the barber shop this morning, where you can hear a lot of things, I learned that the price of gas had dropped to $3.14 at the Medina County town of Wadsworth.  The messenger did not mention President Obama as the guy responsible for the price decline. Of course, he wouldn't deserve any praise in the matter.  Presidents have no role in the rise or fall of oil prices.   On the other hand, weren't there a lot of Republican critics out there accusing him of being an enemy of the people for driving up gas prices at the pump?

The current Economist Magazine reminded me of something that House Speaker John Boehner said when experts warned us the price  could reach $4.50 by July.  Sayeth the Grim Speaker in early April:  

"The President holds the key to addressing the pain...at the gas pump.  My question for the president is:  What are you waiting for?"

I should tell you that one way to reduce America's pain is to retire Boehner.  John:  What are you waiting for?

Glenn Beck et al: The GOP landfill will soon overflow

WEEK-END HAUL FROM THE GOP LANDFILL:


When too many Americans  are fighting fires or watching their homes flooded  away, Glenn  Beck, a tee-shirt capitalist,  is busy trying to make one more buck.  He has eagerly  jumped into the onslaught against Chief Justice John Roberts with this tee-shirt that he is offering for a cool $30! You have to feel sorry for Beck.  When people don't know that they are a bizarre blip on the radar screen, how can you accuse them of being crazy?   Oh, hell.   I'll still call him crazy.  I haven't  been near one of those shirts, but it wouldn't surprise me if they were all made in China. What about it, Glenn?

* * * * *


Have you seen the campaign commercial that Republican Josh Mandel is running on the Internet?  It's titled "Boots"  and is carefully  on message that begins with an unidentifed soldier  lacing up combat boots and is followed by battleground footage of Marines in the midst of combat.  Don't know whether Josh is in any of the films but the message is clear since he paid for it to convince voters that he is rough, tough and ready to take on all challenges if his senate campaign against Sen. Sherrod Brown succeeds.  I always  thought that George Bush's carefully staged  landing on an aircraft carrier to declare "mission accomplished" would stand  forever as overarching political stagecraft.  However,  Mandel, the 34-yuear-old whiz kid, obviously is never going to let anybody forget that he was a Marine. Somebody should tell him that politicizing military service  solely for personal gain (campaign fund-raising)  only cheapens the true image of  Marine Corps valor.    As I once mentioned , John Glenn was a marine, and I would remind you again that Josh is no John Glenn.

* * * * *

Finally, I will again ask why the Summit County Republican Party continues to post on its home page  an attack on a Democrat for hiring a relative when the "outraged" GOP's  local party boss, Alex Arshinkoff,  has three members of his family working in politically-appointed jobs, as I noted in an earlier post.

Some would call it a "scandal of Biblical proportions".  But it ain't smart.  Or maybe the local GOP leader relies on an explanation that Malcolm Forbes Jr. atttributed to his daddy:  "There's nothing wrong with nepotism so long as you keep it in the family."