Friday, December 30, 2011

Mitt's jobs program for young people

WILDEST PROMISE BY any candidate in the race to oblivion called the Iowa Republican Caucuses:

Mitt Romney's reassuring words to a group of college students that their future would be so much brighter if he were elected. It went this way:

"What I can promise you is this --when you get out of college, if I'm president you'll have a job. If President Obama is reelected, you will not be able to get a job."

That earns Mitt the Grumpy Abe Linguistic Lunacy (GALL) award. If college students fall for this line, they need to go back to school for a refresher course on political hyperbole.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Yes, Dad was a a first-class Republican

I'M SURE THAT my late father would have been among the folks who have created so many front-runners in the Iowa Republican marathon. Depending on the day of the week and what he might have heard on the 6 o'clock news, he would have felt comfortable supporting whoever was "surging" in the polls at the moment.

Yes, Dad was a Republican like so many others in our extended family - aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. You know the kind. But for this glimpse of the political loyalities of the clan, I would caution you that I can only guess why Dad was a Republican. (Mom was different: She could never give me a clear answer on how she voted, and didn't think it was all that important anyway. She had things to do in the kitchen.)

For Dad, it was doubtless class consciousness, even though he never belonged to a country club, nor would he, a modest car salesman and grease monkey, have been invited to join one. For him, Republicans represented a better class of people, certainly better than Democrats. He believed that telling people that you were a Republican was the first step in approaching wider public approval. There was no point in trying to change his mind. He knew Republicans in our hometown and they all seemed to be doing a lot better than those fellows who trudged home from the coal mines each day.

He hated the Kennedys, which seemed to be a conversation gambit when a noisy quorum met in our living room. It was Kennedy this and Kennedy that, and the press coverup of Chappaquiddick.(He read every report in the local papers.) Meanwhile, Some of the family elders complained that they didn't make the long journey from the Old Country to be victimized by Washington's wasteful tax-hungry Democrats .

Fortunately, when another tall pot of coffee was being brewed, they would summon me to play the piano so that they could sing away their blues. On some evenings, they assembled in Uncle Alec's kitchen and with little prodding, he would leap from his chair, click his fingers and dance with a knee-bending motion through several rooms. I admired his energy, doubtless fortified by a half-dozen cups of strong coffee. This particular Uncle Alec - there were three in the family - had been a free-spirited steel worker and cared little about politics. There were also four Georges, each with a different surname. And three Abes! It could get confusing and led to some other issues. But that's another story.

My father's political convictions led to tense moments with his only son. He had seen some of my liberal writings in a magazine and could not believe how far I had strayed.. By then he had locked in as a Reaganite and somehow blamed Democrats for trying to abolish his Medicare.

There's a lot of this happening on the path to the Iowa caucuses. If he were alive today, Dad quite likely would be rooting for all of the candidates to win on Tuesday (Maybe not Romney!) It was time to defeat Barack Obama before he ended Medicare and Social Security. Not that the liberal media would ever tell you that.






From gun control to a "gay" reference

THERE ARE CHEAP shots. And there are cheap shots. And unless somebody can offer some pro0f to the contrary, I'd have to conclude that Christopher Evans' puzzling attempt at satire on the Plain Dealer's op-ed page is, um, a cheap shot. First, I should tell you that Evans is an associate editor of the PD's editorial page, which would lead you to think that he should know better.

But in his most recent column dissecting a move in the Ohio legislature to make life more miserable for gun sellers, Evans gratuitously notes that a co-sponsor of the bill is "openly gay".
(He does add "not that there's anything wrong with that" - the old Seinfeld routine.

So I must wonder how he went from gun control to slipping in a reference to the lawmaker's personal sexual preference. If I am wrong about this, then I would have to settle on calling the feathery column a horrible attempt at humor.




Wednesday, December 28, 2011

The GOP is playing politics and poker


ONE OF MY FAVORITE old Broadway musicals is Fiorello!, the lively comedy inspired by the political life of the former New York City mayor. He was an exuberant Republican who openly condemned Prohibition, read the funnies on the radio to children during a newspaper strike and did what he could to challenge the corruption of Tammany Hall.

At one point in the show, the forlorn Republicans assemble to choose a "victim" to run for Congress against the powerful Democratic machine.

Given the GOP's current comedy in trying to determine a nominee, it's worth repeating some of the stanzas from Fiorello! as the gang meets at the card table to sort out a candidate in a segment called "Politics and Poker".
How about Dave Zimmerman?
Davie's too bright
What about Walt Gustafson?
Walt died last night!

How about Frank Monahan?
What about George Gale?
Frank ain't a citizen
and George is in jail.

We could run Al Wollenstein
He's only twenty-three
What about Ed Peterson
You idiot, that's me.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.



Tuesday, December 27, 2011

PD PolitiFact: Two Ohio lawmakers slammed

ON TWO CONSECUTIVE DAYS, the Plain Dealer nailed the top two Ohio Republican lawmakers for lies. On Monday, Aaron Marshall, in the PD's PolitiFact column, cited House Speaker William Batchelder for a hokey story about a Canadian provincial prime minister who sought medical aid in Ohio because his treatment in Canada was so slow that it would have endangered his life. After an intensive investigation of Bacthelder's claim, PolitiFact rated it "Pants on Fire." There is obvious method to Batchelder's madness inasmuch as Ohio's Republican leaders, from Gov. Kasich down, have made the new health care reform law a primary target for their attacks on President Obama in 2012.

Today, PolitiFact looked into the charge by Ohio Senate President Tom Niehaus that Senate Bill 5's protestors deficated in the Statehouse.

The PD's Reginald Fields writes:
"As Senate President, Niehaus is one of the most influential people in the state government and when he speaks people listen. Yet his claim is beyond inaccurate. It's a ridiculous assertion that is unsupported by people who actually take care of the Statehouse."
Fields' rates Niehaus's claim: "Pants on Fire."

Oh, my! With all of the crap already flying around the legislature these days, you'd think that Niehaus would have found a different image to make his imagined point.

Memo to Kasich: an ailing Sears closing stores

WE RECENTLY NOTED in this space that there could be a positive side to Sears' rejection of a $400 million tax break offered by Gov. Kasich to lure the ailing company away from Illinois. We wouldn't end up with a lemon.

The report of the company's growing distress in today's Wall Street Journal confirmed the point: Sears plans to close upward of 120 stores and make other changes to cut its losses. Its stock has plunged 46 pct. the past year.

The WSJ quotes Credit Suisse retail analyst Gary Balter predicting the problems will only get worse:

"It begins and , some would argue, ends with Sears' reluctance to invest in stores and service, effectively asking customers to pay for a poorer shopping environment than available at competitors and on line. We do not see how that will turn around."

Much of the Sears story has been known in the retail world for a long time - as well as in the Ohio governor's office. So shouldn't we also assume that Kasich's feathery $400 million offer was hardly more than grandstanding? It is, after all, the Kasich brand.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Yes, Virginia, there are no Newt and Rick

HAS THE WINNOWING process begun for two of the Republican Supernovas seeking the presidency? The word from Virginia would lead you to think so. Both Newt Gingrich and Rick Perry have failed to file enough signatures to qualify them for the state's March 6 primary ballot.

That will deny each of them a chance to compete in an important delegate state (where Professor Gingrich was ahead in the polls before he flubbed the qualifying petitions.) We now await his version that election laws, like child labor laws, are stupid.

Is it possible that Mitt Romney, a man for all reasons, will win the GOP nomination by default? (I can't believe I just wrote that!) But with these dismal choices, in the party of the blind, the one-eyed man could be King.






Thursday, December 22, 2011

John Boehner, caveman

Well, at least he didn't cry!

Notes from the other world...


AS A DEDICATED chronicler of survival news for your civics classes, I am offering an updated memo on the current crop of patriots who want to lead our country. You will note that there is nothing of significance that escapes their vigilence and incisive reflection .

So let the wisdom flow:

Michele Bachmann: She warns that, according to a Tampa mother, her infant daughter suffered mental retardation after receiving HPV, the vaccine against cervical cancer.

Newt Gingrich: Child labor laws are stupid, and judges who hand down politically incorrect decisions should be arrested.

Ron Paul: A Libertarian, he would prefer to have all government eliminated. He also believes the Civil War was unnecessary because Lincoln could have avoided it by buying all of the slaves.

Mitt Romney: We mustn't be too specific here. Whatever he says today could be obsolete tomorrow.

Rick Perry: He supports gun control by advising gun owners to use both hands.

Rick Santorum: C0nsensual gay sex in the home is the same as bigamy, polygamy, incest and adultery. He explains: "That's not to pick on homosexuality. It's not you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be. It is one thing."

Sarah Palin: She's critical of the White House's "odd" Christmas card that has a seasonal setting of poinsettia and the Obama's dog, Bo, who is is reclining in front a fireplace framed by garlands. She complained that the card lacks the traditional values of "family, faith and freedom." (Should she be reminded that President Reagan's 1984 card pictured a snowy White House driveway with a dog's footprints?) Jeez!

Donald Trump: We saved the best for last. Always the player, he says he would be a formidable third party candidate because of his popularity among blacks , Hispanics and labor
unions. (Not to mention his face in the mirror!)

Well, I tried.

























Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Arshinkoff: I'm not a candidate

Update: Got a call from Alex Arshinkoff today, the first in several years. He said someone had read to him
my post noting some reports that he
wanted to succeed Kevin DeWine as Ohio Republican chairman. No way, he said. Not true. He then quoted General Sherman's famous line on the presidency: "If drafted, I will not run; if nominated, I will not accept; if elected I will not serve." OK. It's not for me to challenge
General Sherman.